Sleep and I do not get along. We have a history as well as a very complex relationship. This bad relationship with sleep started at a young age. Why though why is sleep so difficult for me? Is it my ADHD? My trauma from being a sick child? From a young age I hated being in the dark (I had night lights and even left the light on inside my closet). I also hated the feeling of being alone. My mom and dad bought me a big cd player so that I could fall asleep to music. Oh and speaking of that I LOVED sleeping in their bed far past the “normal age” where that stops. They had to create a calendar where I would get a sticker for every night I spent in my own bed, then once I got a certain number, I got some sort of Barbie prize I wanted.
That was when I was in kindergarten, oh no the sleep mishaps don’t end there. During my parents’ divorce, I would often beg to sleep in my mom’s room (and most of the time it worked). Once she started dating my now stepdad that changed. I remember distinctly o…

10 Things that have helped my mental health

DISCLAIMER: ALL of these opinions are all of my own, and no I am not saying to go out and buy all of these things. I want you to do what's best for you. Think of this as a toolbox, everyone's toolbox is going to be a bit different. These are just some ideas of what you can add to yours.

A good water bottle. Yes, I did say the word "good"- not all water bottles are created equal. In my opinion, the cheap ones you can pick up at the dollar store cannot take a beating from everyday wear and tear (at least for me). If that's all you can afford then by all means go and get that cheapo one from the dollar tree, but if you can spare the extra dollars, I would put it towards getting a Nalgene. I personally have been carrying a Nalgene for years, and I absolutely love it. Nalgene sells their water bottles for less than $15. I highly recommend this company.

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Comfy clothes. I have a slight sensory issue when it comes to certain materials. You can usually find me …


Pain is natural- it is something that all human life experiences. Pain is not all necessarily bad. After all, when a small child's hand touched the hot stove the child instantly yanks it back from the heat. This happens from the nerve receptors feeling the heat.

I know a lot about pain. When I was four months old I had gallstones in my gallbladder- which is a big deal). Since then I had gone through many procedures as well as surgeries. I know pain- at one point in my life, I had a morphine pain pump, I was put in a medically induced coma for a month. Oh and believe me it is true that you can have some awareness of the outside world (thanks 13 going on 30). Thank goodness I had the opportunity to go to Chicago and have surgery done by a world class surgeon who specialized in my rare condition.

I'm so used to the pain that sometimes it's hard to tell how bad it is. Just recently this week I was vomiting up from pain (thanks to a kidney stone that is now 2 cm- REALLY BIG). …

Too Much

I often think that I am "too much" - I have a loud mouth, my emotions run high and most of all I am quick in wit and action. I often feel like my existence "too much" and that so many people's lives would be much easier and happier if I wasn't in their life. I know that this is a lie that Satan put in my head, but I  have moments where I stumble.

In times like these I come back to two scriptures: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV and "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well." Psalm 139:14. By the grace of God not only am I made wonderfully, but He had a plan for my life.

From the moment I was born I was destined to be a hard child. At four months I had gallstones in my gallbladder- something that is highly uncommon. Because of this, I was a medically …